Here n There

new video

2012-02-08T04:02:00.001+08:00

i make a video

about my classmates

well...

enough said...

enjoy :)

click 'video' to watch the video.

video

appreciation

2012-02-02T02:34:00.002+08:00

appreciate.

why i so hard to see people

appreciate things that happen to them?

they want something that they hard to have.

i don't know to talk about :|

u know what u want

but still...

why u so hard to achieve something that are so useless to u?

people never appreciate other people

for what they did to them.

they still argue and not satisfy with one.

they will always try to find the mistake.

if u appreciate him/her

at least once,

u will know the happiness behind appreciation.

u fall, they help u to get up.

u have something missing,

they find it for u.

still...

why u nvr appreciate them?

i don't know how to say it

but...

from what i see...

they always complain everything.

food, education, people's behaviour, surrounding,

easy to say... EVERYTHING.

i don't know

i really don't know.

i know

that many people hate me

especially girls.

bcoz the way i talk to them,

the way i describe them.

i know, that i not so perfect.

the way they talk with me,

the way the greet me.

i can feel the heat from them.

i know, and always know.

i'm sorry.

i don't want to complain why i acting like that.

i just want u to know.

that i will

be there

for u.

i know nobody will ready this

but....

if u happen to read

tell the whole world

that i'm not a jerk.

i won't stop the way i am.

if i want to stop, i don't.

just...

don't be surprise

if there will be a different in me.

to ladies,

i never hate u

but will hate u if u become a scumbag.

sincerely,

the guy that nobody know who's he really is.

idiotic

2012-01-31T05:31:00.004+08:00

being at poly

don't have any privacy at all

if i have done something in front of them

they will talk about it

and tell the whole poly about it

how fuck is that??

especially this guy

always want to know about people

than tell other people

about his friend behaviour

so lame...

he even checking my phone message

what is wrong with that fucking guy?

doesn't he know privacy?

when people want to see his message

he don't let people see

but when he see people message

he think people will not mad?

fuck him.

idiot.

and also

yeah u

my classmate

u the one who told a guy

about me

i know

when u read my blog

u tell other people

u think i don't know?

u son of the bitch.

yeah.

i'm regret being friend with u

u think u become so quiet in the class this sem

make u look so cute?

go die bitch.

just go die.

*posting saying like 'i miss my home', 'i miss my parent'. lol... u bullshit.*

0.o

2012-01-24T03:22:00.002+08:00

today my birthday

and few hours later

will be going back to perlis

since my flight at 7.05am

i can't celebrate with my family

well,

its fine with me

feel so lonely.

so many people wish my birthday

and which one of them

really truely wish me

with their heart?

i bet,

they just wish me

bcoz its facebook.

(some people think, its rude not to wish their friend in facebook)

lol.

what a foolish.

well,

i don't mind

i just want to thanks you all for wishing me

and yeah, i don't count how many people that wishing me

i'm not that pathetic person.

cool.

another day pass by without i notice it.

nice day isn't it?

i don't care if i don't care

2012-01-21T00:53:00.002+08:00

i'm home !!!

just arrived around 11.30pm

the flight got delay.

damn...

i don't know why i want go home.

no.

i don't know the reason i should go home

but still...

home is better than college.

>.>

i remember something

my friend told me

that i don't get any comments and likes at facebook.

to tell ya the truth,

i don't even care about that.

my status is about myself.

i know people won't comments and likes my facebook

but they do know what i been through.

i don't even think about popularity

i'm not that pathetic lonely person

asking people to comments and like me :)

but you...

you got many friends

but yet how much you get likes and comments?

friends almost 1000, but getting likes below 30.

how many people that u chat with?

not all those people right?

suck to be you,

my friend.

i will be busy starting today !!!

too busy than being at college.

you don't know what i've been through at home

so don't say that you know me.

YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW ME!!!

AHAKZZZ!!!!

the feeling that some people in the world can feel it.

2012-01-16T17:29:00.002+08:00

lately

i've been so much lazy

not doing all assignment from lecturer.

all my friend making coding (programming)

and me, playing games and online 24 hours.

i wonder what has happen to me.

but i feel great

all my friend has start working hard

not to fall back like last semester.

they don't want to get the result like they did before.

they have change abit

and i feel happy for them.

i don't want to thinking too much

i want my life become so smooth.

i don't want to regret anything in this college life.

i will do everything so that i can be happy.

some people say,

college life is the greatest world.

i will hold that quote for awhile.

i guess

i will stop being a jerk now.

.....

2012-01-12T21:15:00.002+08:00

here i am

alone in the dark

watching the stars that very shine

have many friends around

doing their own best things

shine to people

down here.

i just know something

that i never expect to know

and i actually follow their...

but i won't tell to other guys

they will make fun of them.

i want to say many things

but my words has been swallowed by sorrow and pain

sarcasm.

2012-01-06T03:41:00.002+08:00

lately i've been thinking

to change my self.

i want to be a good guy

no more bad guy

but i don't know

weather i can do that.

i don't ask for popularity

but i just ask for being known

at least

not as a bad guy.

sometimes

i keep thinking.

do i have really to change myself back like i used to be

when i first enter poli?

bcoz they like i being nice to them.

i want to tell everyone

that i still who i am

i not change at all.

it just my attitude.

i still can be a person that can be trust.

u still can believe me, ask me anything

and i will be there to help u,

to cheer u up.

when i'm in the class

i see people look,

they look at me like i'm a scumbag

like i'm a trash

like i'm .....

nobody.

and here i am

still stay up

eventhough now is 4 in the morning.

thinking of the pain that i had in this life

the sorrow that cannot be thrown away.

i'm such a phailure.

i used to tell all my classmates

that i want to achieve success with them

but now...

i'm no longer can be that person.

i love them very much.

like the post before,

i said

i just want to watch them happy

eventhough i'm not there.

but now...

i can't do that.

they have changes

they use to be in same group

always together gether

but now...

hard to say.

is all my plan

is a mistake?

is that a rubbish

and give me more burden?

from what i see

i purposely.....

what is wrong with me?

how i can be such a dumb?

i don't want to be hypocrite

i want to be myself.

All i ask for my life

is one.

i don't want to be alone.

life.

2012-01-01T14:40:00.002+08:00

we had a meeting with our PA

and our class rep has change.

the plan that i create is now complete

now proceed to the next plan :)

its not i try to make a fool of her

i mean

the new class rep

its bcoz u are suit to my plan

and i hope it really went well.

sometimes

i kinda envy of my friend, fallai

he got his own life

but me?

i'm stuck at here like a fool.

damn me.

don't know what to write...

guess next time i will write again.

~Dizzup~

my life is like astronaut.

2011-12-28T18:58:00.003+08:00

last night

i chatting with my PA

we talk about the class.

she said

i have to represent the class for the time being

until we have next meeting.

i think i can do that.

and i suggest a name to her.

kinda funny for me :)

my PA is very kind and she understand people

i like her very much.

i'm glad that i have a PA like her.

she easy to talk with

and nvr mad when i ask anything.

i'm always alone

sometimes i beg someone to be by my side

i don't care if we not talking

just stay at my side

i don't mind

i want to feel someone presence in my life

I WANT PEOPLE KNOW THAT I EXIST

thats all.

actually, i don't mind being alone

but sometimes, i need someone to company me in loneliness.

i know that i'm a bored person

i'm not a talkative person

but at least, just stay.

there are people in this world who enjoy being alone.

but there isn't a single person who can bear solitude

i want a girlfriend

i want to love a girl and to be love by a girl

but i don't know how to be in relationship.

i don't want to be like a guy

who find girl, then break, find girl, then break

again and again and again non stop.

i want to be in relationship from now

and marry her.

i know its kinda 'jiwang' but

i don't want to be a fool in relationship.

i want commitment.

from what i observe

girls like guy that have a good looking

have money to treat them

and then loyalty.

i don't have 2 out of it

i have loyalty.

i really wish that i have a girlfriend.

i'm not a type that very picky

but at least i want some of these type

not gedik, polite, not asking anything too much,

understand me, half good looking, and some more.

very - very pretty one,

i kinda not like it bcoz too popular.

hahaha...

soon,

i won't be in the class anymore

i wonder when... ??

~Dizzup~

whatever u think, its not what u think.

2011-12-19T23:56:00.001+08:00

and so....
the semester break is gonna end soon
this wednesday will take a flight go to perlis
college start on thursday
and i'm not ready for it
*actually i do*

those kids don't know that i
talked to PA that i don't want to be class rep anymore
or probably they know.
owh well, i really reallys wish
that PA will not change her mind.
i have enough with all these things.
i wanna be free.

i've been thinking alot
and i already make a plan
for my life on next sem.
so boys and girls
just wait and see
for what i'm gonna do.
u guys will probably hate me
afterwards.
*i really really wish that u all hate me*

anyway my friend,
u said that ur old sickness has haunt u back, right?
guess who's fault is that?
it actually u.
if u not realize yet..
let me tell u something...
i always try to talk with u
i want to know how u have been nowadays
i don't want our friendship end just like that.
i know, that we are just an internet friend
but come on, we could be best friend.
and we use to be a best friend.
but now, u seem ignore me
whenever i talk to u
u seem have no interest to talk with me
u think that a good friend do?
i know, u had enter college and met new friend
but u make me feel horrible, u ignore me.
u should ashame for ur self bro...
i think (i don't know whether it true or not)
all of ur friend tried to cheer u up
but u negatively think about them.
u think that they ignore u?
u think that they hate u?
u think that they not care a thing about u?
they actually do care about u.
IT JUST YOU.
YOU GOT PROBLEM MAN.
u need to be fix.
do u still remember what u use to said to me?
u want to be a singer
u want the whole world know u
when u get married, u want me to come to ur wedding.
u said, that one day u want to meet in reality
(how come it can be true when u stop talking to me?)
u said, Eat alone? Movie alone? Outing alone? Shop alone?
come on, not only u man.
i also did those things alone.

I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR U.
I WANT TO BE WITH U.
I KNOW I SUCK IN ENGLISH, BUT U CAN UNDERSTAND RIGHT?
I LOVE TO TALK WITH U.
I WISH THAT WE WILL REALLY MEET IN REALITY
I REALLY DO.
U KNOW WHAT, I ALWAYS DREAM AND IMAGINE THAT SOMEDAY
I WILL BE TALK WITH U, ENJOY DOING THINGS WITH U.
it just...
u the one who break my dream, my friend.
it really hurt me alot when u ignore me.

i did mention something in my class group page in facebook.
and they don't know what the real meaning of what i say.
u guys just wait
i will be leaving
REALLY LEAVING
*my soul*

i think thats all....
love u all
and i will leave u guys(to all my classmates)
goodbye is the word that i can easily say to u guys.

~GOODBYE~

sem break

2011-11-30T23:33:00.002+08:00

owh yeah...

now sem 1 has finish

wish i will not be there anymore

but i can't

hahaha...

so lame...

this is also mean

I WILL NOT BE THE REPRESENTATIVE CLASS ANYMORE!!!!

hip2 hooray... hip2 hooray...

i wonder who gonna be the next rep class :)

ah~

i will not stop laughing :D

hahahaha...

sianz....

sblm ni aku tolong ko, wahai bitch

aku jaga ko, aku cbe elakkan ko drpd terpedaya

tapi ko, MACAM SIAL!!!

ko pegi bgtau dia psal apa yg aku cerita kat ko slama ni

sigh...

WHAT A REALLY FUCKING BITCH

aku harap ko x duduk dalam klas ni lg

aku harap ko tukar poli

sakit mata aku ble tgk ko

ko tukar style ko

ko ingat ko makin cute?

aku tgk ko makin bajet comel

bodoh babi bahalol

PERASAN TAHAP GABAN

EVEN KARMA X PANDANG KO!!!

U ARE FUCKING BITCH AMONG THE BITCHES

heh...

fuck off!!!!

^.^

i guess i will stop now

will be back to told the story....

peace out

~Dizzup~

the new life?!

2011-10-29T02:35:00.002+08:00

last monday we had a little chit chat with my classmate
and we talk about our hatreds among each other
and now
we are 0 - 0

i don' know whether they really in to it
or just faking to make a fool of me
owh well
i don't give a damn shit about this

right now
i don't know
who i should trust in the class
nor girls or boys
all like ******
can't they **********??

hrmm...
guess life still the same like b4..
i don't really care about it
i like being alone more
and trust myself is enough :)

last wednesdays
i talk with this one girl
and we talk about trust, love and friendship
she said that i like a girl in my class
and i said that i'm not really like that girl
just like for fun only
just for imagination
and she not trust me
i really do not like that girl
just like to play fun with her
but...
for no reason...
i kinda like her instead of the girl that she mention
i don't know
maybe bcoz she looks like a mature
and i like that kind of girls :)
even though i know that she is not in to me
i don't want to her notice that i kinda like her
>.<

i guess this is it..
will be gone for awhile...
or not...
lol :P

~Dizzup~

today

2011-10-15T19:47:00.001+08:00

today i wake up really really late
around 3pm

i went out
went to mall
bought things for myself
then i went to my old house
i met my old friend's mom
i really wish that i can meet my friend
but he gone to KL meet with his sister

just now his mom
show me the old pic
really really old
and she said
before i arrived,
she look at that pic.
what a coincident^^

~Dizzup~

got no title

2011-10-15T04:09:00.002+08:00

i have been not writing for awhile

actually,

i don't know what to write about

lol^^

lately,

a lot of things going on

i still being myself

and i still being hated by my classmates

sigh..

i don't care about a damn things

i hate them^^

my money currently so freaking shot

and i need to save

less buy useless things

>.<

currently,

i still finding a girl to be my girlfriend

and yet i still don't have one

even though i got few girls in my mind actually :P

but i don't know how to steal her(s) heart

i don't want to be hypocrite,

acting so innoncent, so kind to steal their heart

i want to be myself

and let her(s) accept me for who i am

but still....

girls like guy that acting hypocrite right??

so here i am

being alone

no one gonna back me up when i'm in problem

nobody care about me

after all i did to them

they still not appreciate me

its not that i want they reply back from what i have done to them

it just

i want they show some respect and appreciate me

but sigh...

i don't want care about them

just go to hell u guys

i guess this is it

will be gone for now

~Dizzup~

geeezzz...

2011-09-26T22:46:00.002+08:00

grrrmmmm....
i don't know what to do now
i feel tired when thinking of them
when i said i had enough of them
i can't really mean it
it so fucking unfair of me

i keep thinking of them
i dont know what to do
and what to say
my mind wont stop thinking
i hate my self

I HATE MYSELF!!!!

when u guys happy, i'm happy

2011-09-25T16:57:00.002+08:00

last night we had a jamuan hari raya
so so for me

selama ini
apa yang aku sentiasa fikirkan
adalah satu

aku nak budak2 klas aku ni sentiasa happy
aku x kesah apa yang mereka lakukan
tetapi jangan la sampai gado2
aku tau diorang ni pandai untuk berjenaka
pandai untuk menarik perhatian orang
aku suka tengok ble diorang gelak dan bergurau ramai2
aku x kesah jika aku tidak bersama mereka
sebab aku just nak diorang happy je
tinggalkan la aku seorang diri
kerana aku ni bukannya orang penting sahaja
biarlah aku menjadi halimunan didalam kelas ini

aku x kesah diorang nak kata apa tentang aku
aku sedar aku sentiasa marah2 kat diorang
aku sedar akan kekerasan bahasa aku kat diorang
tapi aku buat semua ini untuk diorang
kengkadang sampai aku menggunakan bahasa yang kasar
kpd diorang
seperti sblm ni ketika kteorang duk kat kafe
siapkan assignment hardware
aku tahu aku kasar kat budak2 pmpn
tapi aku nak push diorang untuk lakukan kerja2 ini
bukan untuk main2
tapi mereka membuat kerja2 ini sambil lewa
macam mana aku x bengang
aku nak diorang siapkan secepat mungkin
kerana kerja ni pon dah dekat deadline
tapi diorang degil
besar kepala
klu aku gne bahasa yg lembut
diorang x ambil layan
tapi ble aku gne bahasa kasar
diorang marah plak
hrrmm....
ntah la

sekarang ni
barulah aku faham
apa perasaan cikgu2 di sekolah dahulu
cikgu2 tu buat semua itu untuk kebaikan pelajarnya
tapi pelajarnya tidak ambil berat tentang pelajaran dan kerja2 ini

sampai ble budak2 ni nak maju?
kata diri sendiri dah matang
tapi matang ke tu?
korang buat assignment lmbt
lepas tu buat sambil lewa
ble lecturer dah mintak
baru terhegeh - hegeh nak siapkan

aku sedar
aku juga macam diorang
tapi
ble lecturer dah mintak
aku kasi hentam je la
lantak la elok ke x elok, lawa ke x
aku x nak buat lecturer marah
tapi diorang ni...
aish...
tahu la lecturer x marah
tapi korang jangan la buat lecturer hilang sabar
mcm2 bleh berlaku

sudah la..
aku x tahu nak buat apa lg dah ngan budak2 ni
selepas ni
jgn la cari aku lg
dan aku x kan ambil kesah psal diorang dah

i had enough with u guys

identity

2011-09-18T15:36:00.002+08:00

hello guys

i don't know how to say it

sebelum ni

aku menjadi orang lain

dan diri itu

ramai orang suka

tetapi aku tidak suka menjadi orang lain

kerana aku tidak dapat apa2 dengan menjadi orang lain

kenapa mereka suka akan aku sblm ni?

ini kerana

bnyk benda aku buat

semuanya untuk mereka

dan apa perkara terjadi kat mereka

aku yang kena tanggung

adakah ini adil untuk aku?

walaupun waktu itu juga

aku tidak pernah mendapat apa2 dari mereka

mereka x pernah membantu aku dalam apa2 jua

semuanya aku yang kena buat

sebab itu mereka suka akan aku

kerana aku adalah seorang yang bleh membuat kerja

ini tidak adil untuk diriku

aku harus memberikan masa, tenaga dan juga diriku untuk mereka

tetapi

sekarang aku berubah

aku lebihkan diri aku daripada diorang

dan diorang tidak suka akan diri aku ni

aku mempunyai hak untuk diriku

diorang x de hak untuk aku lakukan semua ini untuk diorang

aku juga perlukan masa untuk aku sendiri

kenapa mereka x boleh faham akan diri aku ini?

mereka hanya mementingkan diri sendiri

hanya mereka je yang layak untuk enjoy

dan aku sorang je yang perlu buat kerja

kenapa ini harus terjadi?

ini betul2 tidak adil buat diriku

aku tidak faham dengan ini semua

aku benci akan semua ini

sebab itu aku sentiasa keseorangan

sebab itu aku lebih duduk sengsorang daripada sengsara

berasa tidak selesa bersama diorang

aku ini ibarat alatan

mereka akan cari aku untuk lakukan semua benda

tetapi

setelah aku tolong

aku ditinggalkan begitu sahaja

lebih baik aku x tolong diorang bukan?

sentiasa dipinggirkan

aku x pernah di ajak untuk ke sana sini.

rangkap ini aku cerita ketika aku menjadi orang lain.

tiada perbezaan aku jadi orang lain dan jadi diri aku sendiri

mereka masih pinggirkan diri aku ini

aku juga seperti mereka

pemalas dan bnyk la benda2 buruk

tetapi kenapa masih lg ada perbezaan antara mereka dan aku?

kenapa hanya mereka je yg bleh buat sme benda remeh

dan aku x bleh?

kenapa?

kenapa mereka x bleh faham tentang diri aku ni?

aku x tahu

apa sebenarnya dunia ini

Ya Allah

bantulah diri ku yang lemah ini

going back!!

2011-09-04T13:56:00.002+08:00

heh

soon gonna get back to poly

hopefully things went right

someone told me

that he gonna leave poly

and going to another poly

wish he change his mind

he is the only one

that i always talk with

i always share everything with him

i don't know why

i feel comfortable talk with him

talk about my problem

and many things

if he gone,

i don't know who i can talk with

tell my problems

ask about opinions...

he say to me

that who he in front of me

compare with those 2 guys

he say that i shouldn't be fren with him

coz he is a bad person, bad attitude

but for me

he is a good person

he a good listener

i really love him

*in good way, not gay*

i do know that i always talk many things

with those 2 guys

but we always talk about hobbies and computer.

but, i need a friend that can understand me

that can hear me out

and yeah, he is the one that i can really trust

i mean it

i don't know

how to confront them later

wish it going well

i'm going to do something later

and that is for everyone

hope it will great

i will try not to make them notice it

what i can do now is

hoping

2011-09-01T00:15:00.003+08:00

i know

that i always talk bad things about them

but actually

i just want to show

that they are different

there are not ordinary person

that is why they are so special

even though their attitude kinda make me feel bad

but still

i enjoy with them

even so i not talking too much

i really love to watch them talking

making funny jokes

they don't know what i feel towards them

i don't blame them if they feel uncomfortable around me

what i can say

i'm sorry

but i won't apologize in front of them

let Allah help me to send my apologies to them

~Dizzup~

hrrmm..

2011-08-29T00:49:00.002+08:00

they mad at me..

heh...

that is me..

i born to be hated...

ever since i was kid...

every1 love to hate me..

sigh...

cool isn't it?

funny things

2011-08-27T15:15:00.001+08:00

most of my classmates

trying to avoid from me

eh..

so funny...

they think they can make me feel uncomfortable?

they want me apologize?

eat my shit first!!!

fuck off

2011-08-25T18:57:00.002+08:00

wow...

now i have change myself

and most of my classmates

started to hate me

yes!!!

that is the real me

the real me

like ppl to hate me

i show my real self

after long i being so hypocrite

now i will nvr be kind anymore

i will be ignore all things around me

heh~

i like being like this

more than being love by every1

i already give the reason why,

and now i;, gonna repeat again.

when ppl love,hoping and rely on u

it give a lot of burden and trouble to u

i hate it^^

now,

i can be free

nobody gonna care about me anymore

hehehe...

ah~

what a freedom~

just now

i talked with my PA,

i told her that i'm gonna quit be the monitor

and she agreed with me a second after i say it

she know what i feel in my heart

she understand me.

i glad i met her.

she always told me

to stop spoiling my classmates

let they do their own matter.

i hear this word over and over

i'm fucking tired hear it.

i'm gonna free next sem

i won't care for anything

happen to them and to the class

let they struggle by themselves

let they get scold by lecturer

when they do anything

that not follow lecturer instruction

of making piss off the lecturer.

when i say

i don't care

i mean

I DON'T CARE FOR ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!

myself

2011-08-24T00:32:00.002+08:00

hmmm...

i have been thinking a lot of things

and i still nvr get the answer.

i don't know

how to find the answer.

am i really a pathetic person?

i hate being someone that people can rely on

someone that can be hope on

it is not i really hate it,

just what i get in return?

i nvr have a good deed from what i have done

there will always be more trouble to me.

people trusted too much

till i can't help them,

even HELPING MYSELF.

like the English class,

the lecturer always aiming me in the class

he always call my name out of blue.

i know he want to focus on me

but i feel really annoying.

like i said,

i hate someone hoping to me so much.

plus, it will give trouble to all my friend.

like my team,

whenever have a practical things,

i always be the one who start first

and my team is not ready.

i know that i can be ready for anything,

but them? they can't.

i'm really fucking sorry.

why?

i always want to have a normal life

life that no one can rely and hope to me.

i already has been in that situation

i hate it.

it really hard for me

really hard.

my classmate always rely on me

i really want to help them so much

but thing is,

most of the time,

i'm the one who did all those things.

what i get from that?

all my classmate feel relax and got nothing to worry about

but me?

i have to take all responsibility.

this is not fair.

i nvr get any good deed.

there someone that always treat me

buy me some food, top up, and borrowed some money.

it a big help

but i nvr get an easy life.

they got nothing to worry about.

this is not fair

really not fair....

please

please stop this

i really want to end this

just please

untitled

2011-08-17T17:39:00.003+08:00

hey blog

i don't know what to say

how to describe

my own circumstance

it really fucking annoying

last night

i had fun with my classmates

we played until our body freezes

it sure does fun

but

it make me think

about........

i really

don't know how to say it

i guess

they really are different person

from what i think about

also for the girls and her

there a girl

that i always met at cafe

and there always a moment

we stare at each other

sometimes

she look at me while i look at the other way

and i look at her while she look at the other way

it really a weird and fun moments

now,

i nvr meet her anymore

and i kinda miss her

wish i can meet her again

and wish i can talk with her

the last day that i met her

she was sat in front of me

while i was playing my computer.

i don't know

whether this is my feeling or anything,

she purposely sit in front of me

>.<

The old me is back!!!

2011-08-15T05:01:00.002+08:00

i feel like shit

i hate for being like this

why i can't have a normal life?

this is the question

that i nvr get the answer.

i think,

i should back off.

from now on,

i won't doing anything for them anymore.

if they want do anything

including all the players,

i won't care anymore.

just do it by u guys own.

don't come to me,

to help u guys.

i feel sick when i try to help,

they ignore me, against me.

no more mercy to u guys.

i'm really tired.

i try to hold back my feeling

but i can't.

i want them to be the best of the best

but their behavior, attitude and corporation

very fucking annoying.

i guess, i should care of myself now.

no more care about them.

if they want to be 'mature' as they think they are

let them be.

i won't involve myself with them anymore.

i'm gonna do my own job

as 'Wakil Kelas'.

no more 'Ketua Kelas'.

i feel like to vomit when they

fucking making stupid joke.

i won't be kind anymore,

i won't be the one that they can rely on.

u guys do what u guys want do,

don't include me.

i will just follow throu whatever event that they make.

NEVER EVER FUCKING ASK ME ANYMORE.

U GUYS THINK U GUYS CAN DO BY URSELF

THEN DO IT!!!

i will change myself back

as the way i use to be.

nvr care anything with surrounding.

i just let my life go as its own.

i think

i wanna change politeknik,

perhaps i will go to politeknik shah alam.

at there,

i have someone that can help me,

someone that can cheer me up,

someone that can make me feel alive.

i will ask a help from him,

to change politeknik.

i don't want to stay here anymore.

maybe i will stay,

but till my body temperature rise up,

i will gone.

there is no Syaz anymore.

Matni is back!!!

changes

2011-08-13T18:29:00.003+08:00

hey blog,

some of my classmate say

that i have changed.

i know about it

but they make me change of myself

its not that i want it.

it just come by its own.

i nvr ask for it.

sometime

i feel like shit.

don't know how to say it.

(actually i can)

but it make me feel uncomfortable to say it

plus it will make someone mad

if they read my blog.

i know

they kinda not like me

becoz i'm not like them.

they like doing crazy stuff.

and their ego is fucking bigger

that make me sometime kinda annoyed.

fucking hate it.

i'm sorry that i often not join u guys

its not that i want it

it just

i come here to study

not to play.

alone

2011-08-11T12:37:00.003+08:00

this is suck

i feel like to kill myself

why i have to bare all this things?

why this is happening to me?

why i have to do this?

they think of their own

and they nvr think of me.

i always thinking about them

i care about them,

that is why i always help them.

but they nvr give corporation

when i need to do something with them.

i just need them to make all things easier

but they make it harder

i couldn't handle it by myself.

this equilibrium is not balance at all.

this is really not fair.

i help them but they nvr help me.

and yet they insult and talk bad things about me

at my back.

this really hurt

very hurt

so hurt

this is the pain

that can't even be described

i feel so lonely.

the world is so fucking unfair

2011-08-10T18:07:00.003+08:00

i don't know what is wrong with me

whenever i tried to do something

there will be consequence that i nvr expect

even though i know some that i can expect

but this....

this is FUCKING SUCK

i was told by the lecturer

class start at 4pm

n studied at LAB FAD

i was searching the class around 3.45

and plus i was standing in front of the lab

but the lab doesn't have it name at the door

and i don't know whether that is our lab

plus there have many shoes in front of the door.

then i go round and round about 20 - 30 min

searching for the lab

and calling the lecturer but she didn't answer my call

this is really suck.

i was fucking fed up that time and wish to

skip the class.

then, i was watched class DIP1A entering the lab

and i saw my lecturer in there

i don't know that we are sharing lab with that class.

then she yell at me

say that i late, and i'm not searching for the class

at that time,

i was fucking upset and i yell her back

this is the first time i do something like that

reply with rudeness to the lecturer,

i nvr do that even at school.

i feel fucking bad

that i yell at her back

i'm really sorry

i know that

u not reading my blog

and my apologize won't reach u

but i hope Allah will know my true intention

i really didn't mean to do that,

she out of blue scold me

saying that i'm not searching for the class

even though I WAS SEARCHING AND

WALKING ROUND AND ROUND FOR ALMOST HALF AND HOUR.

this is so fucking unfair for me.

and now

i found out that my cat has been released

by my own doctor(veterinar a.k.a doctor pet)

why the hell they let him go?

i know that he want to go outside that badly

because he want to play around

but why let him go?

he is my cat

i know that i giving my cat to them

but still

my cat is innocent

he really a good and nice cat

i really love him

he is the only my friend that understand

the only one that want to play with me

he my true friend.

i always sleep with him

i hug him everyday.

whenever he go outside to play

my heart always not feel comfortable

i always worried about him.

even at that time,

he not coming home for a day

i was searching for him for many hours

i searching for him

every place,

even in forest.

why this is happen to me?

i always thinking

that when i coming home,

i will go to the clinic to see him

but now,

u let him go,

i don't know whether i can meet him again.

why this world really unfair to me?

why i can't have a happy moment?

a true happiness.

i don't want to pretend that i'm happy

this is not me.

i'm not hypocrite.

undescribeable

2011-08-09T16:22:00.002+08:00

why this always happen to me

i don't know why it keep hunting me

i know i can't be like them

its not that i want it

i have my own goal

i don't want to be like them

they want someone

that are the same as them.

it kinda sad for me

but i will strengthen my heart

with this circumstance

i know i will be like the past

i'm like item that are disposable

which is

they will come to me when they need help

but they will leave me when they have everything

it hurt

really hurt

is that what we call friendship?

i don't know...

hey girls,

i know its fun to play with u guys

but pls

i want to concentrate in the class

pls don't asking me to play with u guys

outside class can, but don't too over

in class, pls don't disturb me

i only have one body

and i can't talk with each of u

in the same time

i also need a space

i'm sorry

sometimes i feel embarrass of myself

whenever they did something

or they do something that include me

it really fucking annoying

why i can't have normal life?

maybe i'm way to normal

that they can't accept who i am

i'm way too different

to compare with them

treated

2011-08-06T15:11:00.003+08:00

this weekend i went to my aunt's house

hang out with my cousin and his fren at night

i shared many things with my cousin

and he shared his too

so we talk and talk and talk

we come out story about girls.

so i ask his opinion

about this girl.

the way she talk with me

what i have been talk with her,

and then he let me thinking

something that i realize but i ignored it.

she try to attract my attention

she want me to like her

she PLAYING FOOL with me.

i don't know whether she has any intent

whether its good or bad.

come on girl,

u don't have to do that trick

to people.

i realized that u trying to attract me,

i know, one day,

when u break up with ur boyfriend

u can make me to loving u.

don't do like that, girl

that is such a pathetic trick for a lonely woman.

i'm a man, i can't be fool with that cheap trick

i can control myself

i won't be easily to fall like that.

after u have break up with ur bf,

i will playing fool with u.

just wait, my girl.

i thought she was a different person

but she is just like all cheap womans that i ever met.

yet i don't know if she have a kind heart.

i hope she is not like those girls.

bcoz i try to believe that she is not like those girls

why?

i don't like those cheap womans a.k.a bitch!!

i realize that she is the one

that i always message.

she ask me yesterday,

who is the girl in the class that i always talk with?

from that question,

i can tell, she want me to answer

that she is the one that i talk with.

luckily i think before i reply to her.

i don't know what she gonna do next,

but sure thing, i will not fall for the tricks

that she made.

this situation is the first time for me

i nvr had this situation before.

even though this is a bad things for me

i feel so great.

bcoz i love to collect experience.

i like adventure

adventure of life.

i like to have many situation, many circumstance,

bcoz all those things that happen to me

is a lesson for me.

which is i can be careful in the future,

i will not feel so awkward

if i had the same situation and circumstance

in the future.

this situation remind me of the tv series that i like. How I Met Your Mother. got one episode which is a girl that have boyfriend, make another boy as 'boyfriend substitution'(lelaki simpanan) which is, she using 'bf subs.' to satisfy her feeling.

attitude

2011-08-05T19:03:00.002+08:00

they are nice person

but their attitude kinda annoying for me

they insulting and say bad things about ppl at the back

does they have no gut to tell the truth?

i know they just joking around

but there will be someone that so sensitive

about those joke

every movement, every speech

will be taken to be insulted

i hate about it

those they think they are better than other people

what the wrong with them?

i hate that kind of attitude

i wish they can change their attitude

don't make me do something

that they think i can't do

pain

2011-08-05T12:18:00.004+08:00

lately

i'm not message with her anymore

and for some reason

i feel so calm

yet

i feel sad bcoz i'm not talking with her anymore.

even though i know that she treat me like that

but still i want to talk with her.

am i stupid or what?

i always looking at her

i don't know whether she realized it or not.

from what i see,

she acting so weird lately.

i don't know

whether she weird or i'm the one that weird.

i wish i can stop this pain

but the pain cannot be cure

there is no medicine can cure this pain

plus the scar of this pain cannot be seen

only the hurt one can feel the pain

even if the scar disappear

the pain still can feel

deep inside the heart

only the real one

can cure it

but who?

no...

who is not the question

but WHEN i'm gonna meet the real one?

i don't know

all i can do is

pray to Allah

hoping i'm not hurting anymore.

the memory that are so nice

2011-08-05T10:38:00.002+08:00

so last night

my classmate and i

gathered to play CS

total of us that time is 8.

actually i came late that time

when i came

total is 10

then 2 of us want to go bed already.

so we went to a room

to play CS.

it kinda fun gather with them

i'm glad that i meet them

even though their attitude is a bit...

but still they are good persons

~Dizzup~

hatred

2011-08-04T16:28:00.003+08:00

from all the subject that i learn

got 1 subject that i hate the most

it is not i hate this subject

i hate the lecturer behavior

he always aiming me in the class!!!

he always ask me during the class

and sometime he like to fool me

i didn't even do wrong with him

but somehow he love to play fool with me

when he ask me

'are u angry at me for some reason?'

i'm not saying anything

if i tell yes

i wonder what he gonna do

hmmmm.....

anyway,

for some reason

she always avoiding me in the class

plus the way she talk with me

is different when i talk with her in the phone

and message her.

like i say before,

she using me to attract her boyfriend

and now she ignored me after she succeed

it really hurt my feeling.

no one can describe my feeling.

before this

she say to me

if i have problem or need someone to talk with

i can talk with her.

so i did talk with her

and it seem like she can't be trusted at all.

i also make her promise

that she can't tell any1

about what i'm gonna say that time

and yet,

i have the feeling that she told her fren

and her fren behaviour

is different when talking with me

or being around with me.

i don't know

whether this is just a feeling or anything.

this circumstance i already felt

in past.

i always thinking that i will nvr face

the circumstance that i had in past

at here.

but, the circumstance is repeated again

with different persons

it really hurt my feeling

it really make me cry.

why i have to be like this again?

why this world so mean to me?

even though ppl always say

u have to struggle to get a happy life,

but until when i have to stay like this?

until when my life gonna change?

this is really suck

am i really a pathetic person?

i think i am.

nobody care about me

Networking

2011-08-03T21:40:00.002+08:00

so far

blajar networking ok

mmg aku minat pon

subjek yg blajar

Mathematic

Pendidikan Islam

English

Fundamental of IT

Computer Hardware

Programming principle

Computer Application Software

Polibrigade

mmg pack jadual ni

kalah budak2 UITM :P

alright

thats all

GRENADE!!!!

the true reason

2011-08-03T17:22:00.004+08:00

i always thinking about the past

and it really hurt inside my heart

when to think about it

the reason why i go to politeknik perlis

becoz i want to be independent

since my parent always say that i'm not independent

and i know

they kinda sad when i got this poli bcoz it very2 far from home

plus i also got recommended to go politeknik shah alam

but i reject it bcoz too close with my home

my mom asked me before

a few weeks before i go poli

she ask me about going back to form 6,

and i reject it bcoz i really want to go this poli

the truth is

that is not the reason why i want to go this poli

the true reason is

i want to meet my first love

a person that i really love

and also the first one that steal my heart

i really miss her

i still can remember her face

even though i have been left Jitra almost 9 years ago

i am badly want to meet her

i can't stop thinking about her

even though i meet a new girl

the different between 'like' and 'love' is big

'like' is just a feeling bcoz u like her

attitude, face, the way she treat u

but 'love' is different

'love' is a feeling that hard to achieve

it won't come that easily

when someone fall in love

he/she love the person that he/she love

without reason

there is no reason to fall in love

there is no word that can describe how love is

thats why i always say 'i like' and not say 'i love'

bcoz those word have different meaning

every weekend i go to jitra

just to meet her

just hoping that i will bumping with her accidently

i really just want to see her just one more time

after a long years not meet

i don't care if she forgotten me

i know

not every1 can remember all things that happen

when they were a kid

the reason why i want to meet with her

is bcoz i want to know

how well she is in this 9 years

i just want to see

whether she happy, enjoy

and who has she become

how much changes that she change in this 9 years

i know i come to this place

is to study

and be the best network security

i just want to meet her

just for once

just once

Don't find love, let love find u. That's why it's called falling in love, because u don't force urself to fall, u just fall

the question has been answered

2011-08-03T12:43:00.002+08:00

now it seem

i have the answer for the question last sunday

i don't know whether this is true or not

but i feel like this is true

the way she use me as a decoy

to attract her bf attention is achieved

this is suck

i hate it

why me?

and also

why i don't think this twice?

is that i'm that desperate?

i don't know what to say

i really hate myself

i really hate for being so desperate

why i ever did that

why i'm so idiot?

why i'm becoming like this

this is bullshit

i should back off

from the beginning

why i desperately force myself

to go talk with her

maybe

i though she is different from the girl

that i used to like

in past

what is this?

is all the girl in this world are the same?

are they very heartless when it come to this?

come on man

i really thought that she is a nice and kind

but she is just different from what she show

grrrrrr....

WHY THE HELL I'M HEARING THIS FUCKING SONG

HEARTLESS BY KRIS ALLEN

this song really suit to all girls that are so heartless...

sorry

2011-08-03T11:13:00.003+08:00

i don't know what to say about this

am i really stupid or idiot?

why i can't even trust them even once?

i don't know why

bcoz of this

i've been making everyone in frust and mad

i feel like fucking retard

hate it

this such a bullshit of my life

even though they say its ok

but i know they lie

they keep this

till one day

to bring me down

I REALLY HATE THIS FUCKING LIFE

hmmmm...

2011-08-02T17:23:00.002+08:00

now

i often saw her look very sad

whenever in class or outside the class

wish i can do something about it

and still i don't know her true heart

maybe i have to try understand her

with different ways

usually she message me like a close fren

but now she seem don't want to message with me anymore

i don't know what i did to her

i always read the message that we chat before

and it seem there is nothing

can make she mad or sad

perhaps this is the cause of her relationship with her bf

i always say to my self, who i am infront of anybody

i am who i am

i can't be different person

from what i think

she want me to be someone that she want me to be

she ask don't do this and don't do that

i don't like it the way she say that

i have my own life

my own responsibility

i know if i follow whatever she ask me

i can be her bf

but i don't want to be like that

to take control from anyone

i had enough of that

i want to be myself

i want to be someone that she can rely on

if she want me to follow what she ask

probably i'm just a pathetic person

clock is tick'

2011-08-01T10:21:00.006+08:00

everytime i look in the past

my heart always cry

yeah i do

but i'm not showing in my face

bcoz i don't want people know

that i cried

i always questioning myself

why?

and why?

i don't know how to search the answers

bcoz those things already happen

and i can't reverse the time

wish i can have the answers to all the question

it such a pain

it really hurt inside my heart

and now

i'm trying to forget what i message with her

what i ever told her

and hoping that i will nvr message with her

to think of it

it really such a pain

i don't know if i can trust her or not

i really hope

that there will be a real person

that understand my feeling

someday

right now

i don't know who i can tell/share

my feeling

i'm sorry

it is not that i want to say that u guys are bad

it just

u guys behavior make me not to believe u guys

i'm sorry boys and girls

really sorry

u guys have to show me

something that can make me trust u guys

i'm really

sorry

really

sorry

pls tell me the truth

2011-07-31T22:52:00.002+08:00

what is happening?

for some reason

i've been fool by her

what is this?

she make me as a reason

to make her bf jealous

just to get attention from her bf

why me?

why?

this is suck

i nvr thought that i will be like this

i hate it

for god sake

pls tell me the truth

this really make my heart broke

why?

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

sry i lied

2011-07-31T13:18:00.003+08:00

hey girl,

i'm sry that i lied to u

it's not that i want to lie to u

it bcoz i really like u

the more i talk with u

the more i like u

i scare

that someday i will fall in love with u

i scare, by loving u

i will be in pain

and i don't want to feel the love's pain anymore

bcoz i always feel it whenever i love some one

i hate it

i know u have a boyfriend

and i don't want to be a person

who interupt ur relationship

u told me about ur relationship

and i know why u still don't break with him

even though he treat u like that

bcoz u still love him

and i don't know

how strong ur love to him

but in my heart

i really hoping that u will break with him

and....

and again

i'm sry that i lie to to u

bcoz

if i tell u the truth

will u consider me as ur boyfriend?

i know u can't

in my heart

u are the only person

that i really

don't want to lie

the thought that are doubted

2011-07-30T11:39:00.003+08:00

i don't know what to say about this

but life at here

a bit different from before

but still the circumstance is the same

i don't know what to do or what to say

it kinda hard for me to handle it

after this 3 weeks

i have been a lot of thinking

and i don't know if i have

a wrong thought about them

is it me?

or they just different from what i'm thinking?

i don't know

sometimes, the circumstance is fucking different

when it come to different situation

what should i believe?

WHO should i believe?

i don't know what to do

even though i tell someone about my feeling

i hope she can understand me

not playing fool with me

like i had in past

when i talk with her

i feel so relax

my heart suddenly calm down

i don't know why

i nvr felt like this before

i wish i can stay beside her more often

i really like to talk with her

and hoping that she will be my....

but she already had a boyfriend

and i scared that i will make her break with her boyfriend

even though her boyfriend treat her badly

i don't want to make her feel sad

i always saw she feeling so down

when coming to class

wish i can do something about it

but i don't know what to do

i guess things will repeat again

i will nvr face a new circumstance

why i have to face this again?

why?

hello !!

2011-07-17T00:59:00.002+08:00

sup fella?

i have been not writing for such a long time

right now i'm continue study at politeknik arau

kinda fun, sad and mad plus pathetic

easy to say

all emotions i can feel at here

thats all i want to say

~Dizzup~

new life

2011-05-15T14:17:00.002+08:00

whaddup fella?
what a long time i not writing anything
>.<

so i've started my new life
i enter new school which i sit for stpm(form 6)
and right now still getting a new frens
i've been thinking alot
i feel like want to stay here
and i don't want to go U
i want to do all things
that i nvr do when i was in secondary school
huhu....

currently i'm staying with my sister and her husband
and right now they are gone to kelantan
my bro in law home
so i stay here alone for a week
hehehe...
now i feel how to live alone
live like an adult
doing everything alone
i can easily wake up every morning
but i can't wake on weekend
weeee~
but still
live in KL
have to spent alot of money
bcoz all things(even food) is expensive
so i have to spent with budget
rm 150 for a week still not enough
-.-'

i guess i stop here...
will write when i have time
i have to give 1000% concentrate on study
bcoz stpm is not easy as spm
being counseled by many teacher
what a pain in the ass
hahahaha

~Dizzup~

sigh...

2011-03-29T14:26:00.002+08:00

it been a long time i post
dun have 'energy' to post
~_~

my result of SPM is pretty lame
and it is my fault
i've been lazy since 16
and now i'm not regret it
>.<

so...
the U things
it suck
all i want has been disaproved
and i feel sad
it suck u know
doing things that u dun want to do
it just
i don't have my own road to walk
everytime i try to walk
there will be a wall
that make me can't pass throu
it so pathetic

~Dizzup~

challenge

2011-01-24T23:48:00.004+08:00

yada!!!
my birthday day is near to an end
as i remember
only a few year
i celebrate my birthday.
so today
celebrate with my family
just only 4 of us
we had a cheesecake
yummy!!

i eat 2 slices cheesecake just now
and my stomach is talking(?)
"i feel dizzy, STOP eating that freaking cake"
weird isn't it?
hahaha
actually i doesn't like cake much
i can only eat 1 slice of the cake
and plus this cheesecake make
u feel 'muak' easily
but i use to buy it at secret recipe
ahak~
love the cheesecake ♥

so
today my mom say
i will be embrasse if i
taking a cashier or sale job
so i say to my mom
"this febuary, i will find a job!!"
i accept that challenge
-.-'
(sound like barney stinson abit)
XD

~Dizzup~

18

2011-01-24T01:59:00.002+08:00

wow...
now i'm officially 18 years old
am i tat old?(lol)
keep thinking abt this
'am i mature enough?'
'am i really grow up?'
ugh...

so this year
my car's P end in december
1.12.11
not lucky number
hahaha...
damn bragger -.-'

i guess that it
tq for those who wish me
fb, msn and phone.
talking abt phone,
my maxis number's phone
has been stealed
and now i'm using other phone number...
plox...

anyway,
i like this quote
'the part of human brain makes u hate someone, is located right next to the part of brain that u love someone. the two response are so similar, it hard to tell them apart.'
it mean, u always scolding and say bad things to someone but the truth is, u r falling in love with that person

Lovely~

~Dizzup~

great day^^

2011-01-22T21:26:00.004+08:00

yosh...
whaddup to myself -.-'

so today play basketball
at stadium BBST
then got adult guys invite me to join them
they so tall and got 3 bigger
really scared me
i can't even getting through them
hahaha...
i've been not playing such for a long time.
we played 3 set
my team win 2 set out of 3^^

so,
i'm not working at any place right now
n my dad keep asking me
to work with him
i don't know, dad.
everyday going to bangi
take car from my mom
then i can go anywhere i want
(yeah, i always lotering)
now my mom want to buy new car
so she can have 1
then i can have 1.
sometime i being busy too
had to go to seremban
had to go to KL
got things to do.
my back is hurt
driving for many days
~_~

i guess that its

~Dizzup~

owh

2011-01-05T15:29:00.002+08:00

i just find out
a song for my next vid
don't know it suit or not
lol

owh my G
my dad asking me to work with him
i'm feeling to take a job
but not that
never mind
let give it try
lol

~Dizzup~

finish

2011-01-02T20:13:00.002+08:00

i already finish making the vid
for me
it really nice^^

but there have some mistake that i make
but overall, it's ok
so click here to watch
video

i will make another 2 vid
it kinda like this
but have abit different

~Dizzup~

2011 has come

2011-01-02T11:45:00.003+08:00

at last
years of school
come to an end
now we are not a kid anymore
had to enter the 'real world'

now,
technically i'm 18 years old
and i still trying to achieve
what i want
but still...

hey, lately
i've been thinking about making a new vid
a vid of....
the song that i play kinda touched
and i hope it will touch their heart
just now watched the music video
it really does make me want to cry
the lyric... the vid...
damn...
i will try to put all my heart in to it
and hope every1 like it

hope can finish it ASAP
lot of things to do
(maybe)

~Dizuup~

bored

2010-12-28T23:32:00.003+08:00

whaddup folks?
it's been awhile i wrote anything

now to mention
SPM already finish
kinda relief but will be scared
when the result coming out

so after the SPM
kinda bored
play game? boring...
watching tv? boring....
loiter? boring... not too boring actually

hey,
i just get back from kelantan last 2 days
went to my bro-in-law wedding
that my first time driving
for such a long way and time
i drove from home until kuantan
gather up with my uncle
pick up my bro at there
then my dad drove for awhile
then i resume driving
really so damn freaking tired
but kinda boring and fun while driving
lol

this thursday
will go to langkawi with my bro
to take his SPM's certificate
how long my bro didn't take it?
ummm... around 6 years
next year he will be
a pharmacist after studying for long time
then i'm going to enter pre-U
insyaallah
my bro and i got much free time at langkawi
after taking the certificate
and i can't thinking of place i want to go
bcoz when i was live in kedah
my family frequently went to langkawi
it just like a second home for us
(actually it does, we got another house)
yawn~

i thinking about making a vlog
but....

i guess i want to stop now
want to go sleep or what?
i will figure it out later

~Dizzup~

hohoho...

2010-12-10T22:33:00.002+08:00

hey
here some funny things

they always talks about halal haram things
but think about it
they still doing bad things
even though they noe
they should'nt do that
owh well...

but there also
who talk about halal haram things
but they didn't do it
yet their FRIEND do it
it's weird
they talk about those things
their freind still do the those things
come on,
just only talk
nothing can change anything

i dare u to talk like that in front of ur fren
and make their change their life
bet u can't, right?

~Dizzup~

just like that

2010-12-06T19:17:00.003+08:00

i noe everyone have their own problem
but it doesn't mean
u have to understand every each problem
it's kinda sad
that u want to understand ur situation
but yet u nvr care about me
it really does hurt me

i don't know about this
i always feel pain in the chest
but yet i doesn't have any illness
my heart always smile
but yet it feel so much pain

Friends......

2010-11-30T15:45:00.002+08:00

hey my fren,
if u are reading this
i wanna let u noe that i really mean it

i noe that u have changed
or maybe i also changed
i don't know which 1
but i realise 1 thing
u always avoid me when i try to chat with u
i don't know what i have done to u
am i despise u?
i don't know about that

i always trying to cheer u up
but yet u always down
what happen to u man?

i nvr want to leave u alone
i always keep thinking about u
i appreciate that u are being my fren
i'm not a stranger
i'm not an acquaintance
i'm only ur fren
i'm ur best fren
REMEMBER tat

i always do
i always noe what u feel
but now u seem try to away from me
every each day
u seem going to far and far
i don't know what ur feeling
what are thinking
every day i always asking myself,
what are you doing right now?

isn't i told u to wait me
until i finish the exam
i noe u finish earlier than me
but......
hey man
even though i have things
after the exam
i can always be with u every night
u don't have to worry about that

i am not appreciate
that u being like that
it seem u blame me for things
that i have even done
we use to talk many things
but now it's so hard
only 1 or 2 talk
then u seem no interest to talk anymore

for ur information
i always care about u
i always concern about u
i think u noe about that
but yet u nvr appreciate what i have done to u

come on man
those memories that we going through
it's not a fake memories

sry for my bad english
i noe ur english better than me
and u don't know malay
so i have to write in english

anyway, remember this pal
when u being with me
u will have no problems.

2010-11-30T15:24:00.005+08:00

whaddup
now is 2nd week of this freaking exam
don't know what kind of result
that i will get

i've been hypocrite since the last month
now it seem become worst
i dont know what to do
it's hard u noe
but i guess
today will be the last day
i become hypocrite
yawn~

everyday i feel so weird
all new things keep hunt me
i noe i should'nt thinking about tat
but yet
it's so hard
everyday i try to hide
it always found me
ugh....
everytime....
it so much pain
i can hold this feeling
no more

~Dizzup~

......

2010-11-17T21:37:00.002+08:00

ah~
not feeling very well
exam is around the corner
and the preparation
still not enough
but i already make
my own path
for my own future
Mudah - mudahan aku cepat sembuh
dan mampu menjawab peksa
dgn baik dgn segala ilmu yg aku pelajari
amin

what a day...

2010-11-06T19:01:00.002+08:00

smlm ada buat solat hojat kat umah teacher sa'adiah
i had enjoyed dgr story suami teacher
it sure fun.
the best part of that day
is at night,
actually it kinda lame
but for me it's the best.
mcm kwn aku ckp.....
it sure does.

untitled

2010-11-03T01:01:00.002+08:00

first or last is a number

the thing is

u try very hard

to achieve the success.

education is a knowledge

to lead your own life

it's not a sport competition

Unreasoning

2010-11-01T23:11:00.002+08:00

i'm so tired....

i'm not....

but come on......

enough of....

now i open up this netbook thing

just arrived a week ago

but too lazy to use it

then i realise i have to

waste my time after school

so use it

kinda awkward and hard

hmmm...

my bro bought this

internet things

that make the internet more faster

i don't want to detail it

in short this netbook come with it

tada!!

i don't noe how to say it....

a fren betray the other fren

just for one thing

JEALOUSY

come on la

dah la perangai mcm tu

pastu nak buat hal plak

bkn ke ko tu kaki mencapap

so x kan la nak buat

perkara yg x masuk akal tu

so pathetic!!

tmrw got this academic day thing

ugh i hope i'm not get scolded

in front of the class

-.-'

~Dizzup~

i'm here by myself

2010-10-30T00:45:00.004+08:00

i can't stop
from online - ing
dunno why's tat
maybe i have been addicted back
=.='

sir khalid(physic teacher) will go to Arab(got weird place he mention b4)
because his wife
(got a job at there)
(continue studying at there)
dunnoe which 1 but the only thing i noe
he go there just for his wife
before this his promise us
that he will stay at MY until we finish sitting SPM
but he leaving us earlier than his promise
he will be leaving around next 6 hours
wish him a good luck

so this week
my weight has been increase
i eat alot of cholesterol
damn!!!!
b4 this i can control my meal
but for some reason
i end up eating those unbalanced diet
ugh.......

i keep downloading songs
i'm not very tired
doing that
yawn~

so this week chatting with
my online buddy
and they keep forcing me
to play with them
DotA, GA and many more
and i refuse to play with them
i got no mood to play games
for now

i have a lot of sad/happy memory
playing GA
i keep smiling when thinking of GA
nice old day^^

gotta go now
p/s : this is my first time skipping the class
they used to ask me to join them
i refuse but now i agree
plox

~Dizzup~

nobody is perfect

2010-10-29T00:27:00.004+08:00

so i got all the trial results
too bad to say
-.-'

i'm the lowest in the class
can't deny about that
they are too smart
but some of them are
smart but not smart(?)

that's why i don't want enter this class
at first place
bcoz the competition of academic is too high
prefer stupid class
bcoz i can brag among of them
hahahaha...(retard)

i love chemistry
i want to be chemist when i grow up
but for some reason
i can't do it well in exam
but i can do it
very good with the exercises
i can do it without looking the text book(mostly)
i don't know why
maybe i don't....
just maybe....

last tuesday got this graduation day
kinda ok so - so

hey,
it's been awhile since i drive manual car
kinda awkward drive it after 5 month
luckily didn't jam on the road
plus the car that i drive
no road tax, no sticker 'P', have been modify illegally
kinda scared at first
but i still want...
~_~

gotta stop all negative things about me
ugh...
have to change myself
must 'upgrade my engine'
grrrr.....
i want but i can't
damn u.....

i had fun playing football with my class
even though i'm not expert playing it
it's too fun
bcoz i enjoy playing with them
many funny things happen
before this i didn't play with them
bcoz too many ppl want play
combine with the other class
too messy and crowded
now we play among of us
but.....
end up with......

alright gotta stop now
got some work to do....

~Dizzup~

Here n There

2010-10-23T12:29:00.005+08:00

hey there...
i miss u blog^^
isn't last post say i will gone for awhile?
this is 'awhile'
plox

about the trial SPM results
it's pretty damn cool
just like my trial PMR
my results like 'flying with colour'
literally, FULL OF COLOUR like a rainbow
if ya noe what i mean^^

my english test
was pretty bad
i guess i have to strengthen my english
more n more
work harder!!!

so last night got this
prefect formal party
kinda cool but the food
hard to say about it

last 2 or 3 weeks
talked with my old pal
he say that he love friendship that we had
(me, him, and the other 5 )
when we were form 1
the best of the best that he had
i guess what he say is true
but my fren
we have to move on
the old past will become sweet memory

sometimes aku terfikir
aku benci benda mcm tu
tp aku still buat jugak
adakah aku seorang hipokrit?
hmmm....

syukur aku dah bleh gne internet kat umah
sblm ni modem kne petir
sejak first day raya lg
kinda sad n bored too
even so dah lme modem ni siap
tp aku x pun on2 komp
br skang nak on^^
skang ni syok lyn download lagu
lagu lme2 yg terrrrrrrbaik!!!
ngeee~

i guess this is it
hope can crapping more next time
crapping more??
come on bro, study!!!
hahahaha...

1 + 1 = 1
right?

~Dizzup~

I'm back with the brand new remix

2010-10-11T15:51:00.002+08:00

hello blog
it's been since then huh?
about 2 month -.-'

just finished SPM trial
it kinda bored ya know
but the last day of trial
got this freaking EST thing
i really enjoyed myself
crapping in my fucking report
hahaha....

those kids
they have been spoiled so badly
with someone there
and they kinda brag about it
and it feel irritating yo
come on man
u guys have to stand up with
ur own feets man
there will be no one
will help n guide ya
out there
~_~

and also those freaking damn kids
they are so arrogant
and i hate it since then
come on
they really have to change themselves
ugh... it really make me SICK
everytime i see them
it really fucking make me to vomit
arrrr~
does there nobody not insane there?

am i being reckless?
i don't know
i really hate it
what i hate abt right now?
don't know
duh...

my life is still the same
not less but more
lame... -.-'
i want many things
but i can't even to touch it
i can only to dream it
only dreams...

i kinda confuse about word 'friends' mean?
with this circumstances
don't know what to say about it
does it have something about it?
nobody can tell...

k better stop now
will be gone for awhile
hope can achieve the things
that i have been waiting for
hope can have a better way to live
in this freaking world

~Dizzup~

the world keep moving......

2010-08-22T22:48:00.004+08:00

my life is great
not more not less
already applied matrikulasi
hmmm...

yesterday
went to school
stay in the hall
all day long
got teknik menjawab bm
the first part is fun
we have to make an essay
my essay full of crap
>.<

fitnah skang dah mle bnyk
salah satunya kat facebook aku
bkn fitnah je
kutuk, mengumpat, mengata, memburuk2 kan orang
semua ada la sng cte
teruk2
diorang bangga dgn melakukan perkara
yg bleh mendatangkan dosa
lbh2 lagi di bulan ramadhan
$#@!$
(lol)

i wish
that they will stop doing all this thing
once they graduate from school
they have to enter the 'real' world
they not kid anymore
they are now grown up(perhaps)
all this kiddo things
all this jerking things
they have to stop
or not the world will ignore them
especially for HIM(guess who?)

anyway
i have been thinking abt wat to do with my own life
but am i working harder to achieve
what i dream for?
i don't know about that
i will figure it out soon enough

errr...
does any1 want to buy my biology
exercise book?(past year SPM question)
i accidently bought 2
hahaha
how clumsy i am -.-'

arrrrrrrrr...
i don't know what i can crap more
hey
i wish i can be thin by the end of ramadhan
*U WISH!!!!*
ngeee~

i guess this is it
before this i keep thinking
what to wrote on the blog
but suddenly the mood to blogging
gone...
hahaha...

~Dizzup~

p/s: now i'm starting to stop doing all jerk things that i use to do

The One

2010-08-08T21:48:00.003+08:00

hey hey there there

i wonder why she....
i kinda sad seeing her....
they don't even.....
they make a big mistake.....
she have something......
that nobody have it.......
why..?
why.......?

so i enjoy my boring life
it's kinda fun though
anyway i getting bigger n bigger
round n round
i hope this ramadhan will make me thin abit
hahaaha....

hey pal
i don't know whats wrong with that person
maybe he doesn't have dignity n pride
but who care about that person?
that person can be call a bitch
u noe that right?
but that person doesn't look like that
i guess we can't call that person bitch
hmmm...
i guess year by year
teenager become more rude n no pride
don't know what is happening in this world

many ppl like to say bitch
they didn't even noe what it suppose to mean
this is 1 of the biggest things i hate
ppl like to say a rude word
but don't know what it's mean
anyway,
do u noe that a female dog
can produce(give birth) many puppies
*everyone KNOWS!!!*
ok ok ok
but do u noe that the ratio of the female n male puppies?
it's like about
female : male ->1 : 5
a bitch mean a female puppy
why it's become a rude word nowadays?
this is bcoz
a female puppy is surrounded by many male dog/puppies
to make sex
or u can say female puppy/dog attract the males.
it's just like a human being
when a girl attract many boys
and a boy attract many girls
that's why 'bitch' become a rude word
it just like a insulting word to them
noe what i mean?

enough of rude things
anyway, this week
the sleeping monster has awake
omg!!!
it so scary!!!!!
but we have to take that as a lesson

i guess i have to stop here
will crapping more next time

~Dizzup~

un - soul

2010-07-25T23:39:00.002+08:00

these weeks have a lot things happen
and i don't know what is going back then
*what i crapping at?*

i've been thinking a lot of thing lately
of coz about this life right?
aku x ske sangat ambil kisah org len
tp aku apa yg aku perasan
perangai orang ni mcm2 ada
x kan pelik kot?
al maklum la...
setiap orang mesti la perangai berbeza
x kan nak sama je kot
this is not black n white world

i don't like school life
since i was a junior high school already
i really glad that i will gonna graduate from this school
but yet if i don't get a good results
where should i go then?
i guess i have to figure it out by myself

aku nak cte skit la
perangai bdk 2syen aku
ngan bdk2 kat skolah aku
aku bknnya nak berat sblh ke apa ke(no negative feeling)
tp bdk2 2syen lbh mature
than bdk2 kat skolah aku
klu kat skolah
ckp skit je, mesti ada yg nak sangkal
ada je yg nak sibuk
pastu nak tokok tambah lg
aku x tau la apa nak jd ngan diorang ni
x abis ayat lg
dah nak sangkal
sangkal benda baik x pe
ni siap main benda x elok plak
kutuk2 plak tu
pelik
aku x tau la apa nak jd ngan diorang
lps dah abis skolah,
diorang still x berubah lg
mungkin diorang x kan disenangi ramai
MUNGKIN mereka akan diterima orang ramai
of coz la
dunia skang dah maju
perangai remaja skang ni dah makin menjadi - jadi
perangai x elok pon
diorang terima je
they already 17 years old but still like a kid
hmmm...
klu kat 2syen aku
kteorang bantu antara sama lain
dgr cte org len
x de nak sangkal2 nak kutuk2
klu nak kutuk/sangkal, lps abis cte
br melepas la apa yg kat mulut tu
main straight forward je
x de nak tapis2
tp at least we know what we doing
well~

anyway,
esk monthly test
ugh... should i strugglle or not?
but my fren n i
are trying to beat each other in exam
hmmm...
mid year exam
i lost to him :(

i guess this is it
maybe next time will crapping more longer
see ya

p/s: i purposely talk about attitude so that.......

~Dizzup~

unpredictable

2010-07-15T22:45:00.002+08:00

guess what?
evverything that i plan
will be vanish in no time

anyway, i got in to PLKN
checked by my fren
n yeah i don't mind
about it
all my fren seem upset
except 2,3 of them

actually i got so many plan to do
after SPM
as i always post abt that ;P
and i nvr mention what it is
have to figure it out by urself

anyway
since my circumstance is unstable
probably my mom will write a letter
so that i won't join the PLKN
plus all my family has already join it

well
what can i say
we can only planning
only god will decide it

~Dizzup~

dream~

2010-07-06T18:14:00.003+08:00

5 month more
for me to achieve
wat i want when i was a kid

i'm getting fat n fat
my dad keep scolding me
for getting FAT
don't know why he so angry abt?!
-.-'

walaupun aku x ske sangat dgn sains
tp aku glad n syukur
aku blajar sains ni
skarang ni br aku tau
sedikit sebanyak tentang dunia ni
betapa indahnya ciptaan tuhan ni

orang² tua slalu
bgtau petua² n kisah²
yg pelik kpd bdk²
contohnya
"makanan itu panas, makanan itu sejuk"
"terbalikkan cermin ketika petir"
n so on
secara luaran nmpk mcm
nonsense
but actually by the term of biology/chemistry/physic
there have the meaning on it
for example
knp makanan itu panas like durian?
secara biological
kandungan dalam durian tu bnyk glucoses
which is our body need a lot of energy
to break down the glucoses
that's why badan kita akan terasa panas je~
hehe~

our old man
nvr learn science (maybe)
but they have been learn
by the other way
unscienctifically (does this word exist?)
>.<

spm is around the corner
should i prepare for it?
but i can't wait for the event
after spm
geeeez~

i guess thats all what i can crap abt
for now
hopefully there will be a next time

~Dizzup~

ain't show no regret

2010-06-30T23:27:00.001+08:00

it's pretty tough here
but i ain't show no regret
(wat it's suppose to mean?)

my ankle is hurting back
and i hardly to walk
my luck sure don't want
to be with me
T_T

anyway kinda had fun at tuition
talking n laughing with them
make me feel happy n relax
well they kinda mature abit (1%)
hahaha...
(but am i a mature person??who know?)

talking about results
it's kinda bad actually
anyway not so bad as i thought
>.<

i don't know wat to say
but sadly they has/have changed abit
and i feel really bad
i want to cry
but yet the tears won't drop

recently i keep hear song
penantian by blackrose
don't know why
but it's kinda touching

anyway
all drama, all movie, all song, all anime all....
kinda bored this day
the songs, story and everything
in last 10 years
is the best than the best
i used to watch drama at tv3 when i was a kid
it really nice drama
but sadly there is no drama like that
..........

anyway my day bcome very bored
more pressure on
especially exam is around the corner
arrrr....!!!

see ya
next time

~Dizzup~

untitled

2010-06-26T12:33:00.002+08:00

it's been awhile since i post anything....
so....

i kinda surprise that i'm invisible
kinda cool right?
yawn~

my dad went to china
and now i can drive his car
huhu~
it feel like that car is mine
hehe...
even so...
when i driving
i feel relax...
somehow i can think anything i want
but sometime i also keep talking to myself
hahaha....

driving ni mmg best la....
plg koman pun bosan la....
what make it the worse?
perangai pemandu2 lain
mcm2 hal diorang buat
tu yg buat sakit hati tu
kinda pity on them
haha...

anyway yesterday
kaki aku terseliuh
and it really so fucking damn pain
i barely can't walk T_T
well now...
the pain is now slowly to heal
ngeee~

alright
see ya
next time

~Dizzup~

Holiday

2010-06-05T17:25:00.002+08:00

finally exam already finish
nvr tot it will be this long
isn't exam last year also same like this?
well who know?

so now we got 2 weeks holiday
and yeah it will be fucking bored for me
wanna know why?
i have to....
every evening.....
damn i hate it

so my life will full of hatred
and yeah i dun care abt it
i like the way it is
and yeah my dad keep pushing me
to do.....
i hate to do that
and he want me to take it in University
HOHOHO
sry i don't want it!!!

~Dizzup~

those day pass by without you notice it

2010-05-26T23:29:00.002+08:00

right now
aku menduduki peksa mid year
and yeah it kinda tough for me
after 1 year studying science stream
now i know how hard it is
x bleh nak predict apa yg kluar
berbelas - belas subtopic
tp yg kluar hanya 4 atau 5 je
x tau la SPM nnt camna

aku dah trade in encet aku
and now regretting with the new phone
nak dekat seminggu aku ulang alik gi kedai tu
aish
problem banyak sangat

aku x tau la knp ngan bdk2 ni
diorang dah tau tajuk apa yg masuk peksa
pegi la baca
ni x,
tls dalam kertas la, tgk bku rujukan la, n bnyk lg
perh...
terok!!!!
aku x tau la apa nak jadi
diberi betis, nak paha pula
aku x tau nak ckp pe dah
1 word i can say
Pathetic!!

~Dizzup~

........

2010-05-17T17:33:00.001+08:00

How can i tell you that i love you
But i can't think of right words to say
I long to tell you that i'm always thinking of you
I'm always thinking of you, but my words
Just blow away
It always ends up to one thing
And i can't think of right words to say
Wherever i am girl, i'm always walking with you
but i look and you're not there
Whoever i'm with
I'm always talking to you, and i'm sad that
You can't hear
I need to know you, need to feel my arms around you
like a sea around a shore
And each night and day i pray, in hope
That i might find you

Family Day Taman Salak Indah

2010-05-05T23:38:00.003+08:00

the title say it all
let the pic do the rest
click here

Thx G-o-d

2010-04-28T23:25:00.002+08:00

yesterday i did something wrong
n luckily that person doesn't come find me
phew~
if not, my 'something' will get disband
syukur alhamdulillah

well enough of that
last sunday i play golf with my dad
the first hole was bad
then at the second hole it was good
and it continous getting better
until the seventh hole
at the eight hole
something happen
it was par 3
the distance was 117m
and i hit the ball from that distance
my ball landing on the green
and it was abt 5m away from the hole
n suddenly
it was rolling in
and guess wat
HOLE IN ONE
kinda shock abt tat ;)
but i kinda sad
bcoz
my dad said that
if i want to announce this Hole in 1
it must be minimum 3 person in 1 flight
and it was only me, my dad n the kedi(how to spell?)
so my name will not be written
at/on/in the Hole in 1 board T_T
but got 3 ppl in front of me got watch it
but why i can't?
sad sad sad

well it was the rule
that i have to obey :)
(am i hypocryte?)

ok today at my school
subject on period 1 - 10(guess which 1)
i have to stand for the whole period
bcoz why?
why?
it was my partner fault
he should print the essay that i already write
but he didn't
and want have a surprise?
he can sit down but i have to stand?
the FUCK?!
THX 4 NOTHING DUDE

well i guess that is it
now i can only use comp. for 1 hour a day
well it's not bad to compare than nothing
well...

~Dizzup~

Watch it!!

2010-04-24T01:21:00.001+08:00

my fren gived me this link just now
and it really touched me

Hello

2010-04-23T23:35:00.002+08:00

it's been awhile i on9 anything(lol)

so
i stopped playing DotA
stopped exercise(slalu plan, tp x jd²)
bz with the school stuff(extra class)
and so on
-.-'

i kinda fall for someone
and i feeling sad again
the hell she want to have same feeling right?
and again
she can only be in my dream

this 2 weeks
alot of rumor
that i heard
and i really hate about it
why the heck want to spread a rumor that not true?
and they really spoil my mood
..zzZZ
i hate those ppl like to assume
something that they not even see the truth
a person say 3 words to another person
than that 'another person' say 1000 000 words to other ppl
like fuck!

better stop now b4 another 100 vulgarity out

~Dizzup~

ByeByeBye

2010-04-09T15:11:00.002+08:00

i skipped the mesyuarat agong pengawas yesterday
i skip bcoz i afraid that i will get scold
for thing that i've done
well lucky the teacher doesn't mention it
-.-'

yeah baby yeah
this is my last time i use my fucking comp.
no more comp. for me
nah.. maybe i use it once a week/2 weeks
study2 most important
my lovely teacher
give a lecture to my class
and it went through my heart ;)
n just now fill up PATS
kinda touching >.<
so see ya

~Dizzup~

dream come true

2010-04-03T21:47:00.002+08:00

hey guys,
it's me again
well....

i nvr expect tat
Davedays can meet up with
Miley Cyrus
just by making video
u guys can check it up
how hard he try to reach Miley Cyrus
i kinda envy of him
i wonder when my dream will come true
well it won't

aku x tahu la
apa yg telah aku lakukan
kat diorang tu
aku x pernah pun
ckp benda x elok, maki diorang ke apa ke
x pernah pun aku sentuh(bahasa kiasan) diorang
tetiba je diorang layan aku x elok
apa salah aku
aku pun x tahu
aku x kenal sangat ngan diorang tu tp
aku layan diorang dgn baik
ini balasan yg aku dpt?
haish...

~Dizzup~

The WOW

2010-03-30T17:59:00.002+08:00

i didn't study even once for test month
so end up with failure
well i accept that

so today i suppose to take JPJ test for driving lesson
guess what, Cemerlang forgot to put my name on it
so i didn't take the test
and end up with headache
kinda feel sad bcoz my driving is now 100% super duper good
but not perfect(still can pass the test)
~_~

so everything went well
there's no word to say
about those circumstances
if it don't, it won't call life(?)

hope everyone is happy =)

jom~

2010-03-20T13:47:00.001+08:00

x sangka budak2 bangang tu x berhenti lg
pelik la diorang tu

Hello

2010-03-14T23:44:00.004+08:00

it's been awhile since i create a new post
lot of happen after the 100th post
lol

ada 1 ari tu
aku gi kedai jiran blakang aku
those couple(married) keep asking me
apsal lama sangat x nmpk btg idung. ngeee~
well i guess
jadual aku sudah pun padat
n smenya mesti ada kat bangi
so x de aktiviti yg aku bleh buat kat nilai/salak tinggi
except tuisyen~
lalalala...

so what's going on about me?

well first....
aku skang dah mle layan dgn bola
ni smenya kerana fantasy football
weee~

next...
aku masih tinggal 6 jam utk
melayakkan aku menduduki ujian kereta JPJ
it's really frustrating bcoz
all thing that i have to complete is ok,
3 pointer, parking, atas bukit, n atas jln raya
except 1 thing(my cikgu always scold me abt this)
aku slalu bwk laju time nak buat 3 pointer n parking
(tp smenya good enough but still not perfect)
atas jln raya pun ok je(limit 40km/h betapa strugglenya aku!!!)
aish~
sry la cikgu
apa bleh buat
dah jiwa drifter XD

last not least
aku skang dah mle nak exercise blk
dah 7 bln x exercise
maklum la time tu bdn dah maintain
then stop exercise
makin membesar la jawabnya~
..zzZZ

bnyk lg perkara yg sronok n menyedihkan
sepanjang perjalanan idupku
but i guess i have to hold it on
lalalala~

~Dizzup~

100th post

2010-02-27T15:38:00.004+08:00

haha

utk post yg ke seratus
aku nak cte psal bola
ini adalah kali pertama
aku menunjukkan minat aku
terhadap bola
so aku aku ada join fantasy football
and guess what
i was top 100(acap kata)
hehe...

jgn tgk no. urutan kiri tu
tgk yg blah kanan tu
itu lah pointnya
wahahaha...

p/s:ini gameweek 27, acap yg men kan utk aku. aku br start utk gameweek 28. hehehe...

WoW

2010-02-24T05:16:00.001+08:00

results aku...
x mo cte
wahaha...

klu bleh kan
klu bleh ar
klu la kan

SPM aku nak jwb paper:
bio
chemist
bm
bi
math

tu je aku nak jwb
bleh x?

Hello DotA

2010-02-22T17:06:00.003+08:00

i just back from cyber cafe
i was staying there about 3 hours
i waiting for adzeezan to come.
while i waiting
i play garena
b4 that,
the latest map that CC have
6.61b
how lame is that?
luckily i bringing my thumbdrive
and then i play 6.66b

30 - 45 minute later
adzeezan and his friends come
then we play DotA 2 v 2 map 6.61b
first game kinda fun
bcoz my team owning
and then adzeezan n his fren
leave the game
me n his fren(team) were laughing at them
then we play for the second game
and yeah it's a tough game
it's kinda hard for me
bcoz i didn't play this game
for such a long time.
they not play as open
so that their time come to an end
then we went home
i hope we can play like this next time.

smlm aku n alan pegi klas
teori 6 jam utk lesen L tu
memandangkan kteorang dah ada lesen P motor
so kteorang x payah
masuk klas kpp 5 jam n jawab ujian bertulis
2, 3 hari nnt kteorang dah dpt lesen L utk keta
then bleh la kteorang blajar keta plak
blajar keta wajib 8 jam
huhu..
nampaknya aku kena la
ponteng skolah lg
kuang kuang kuang

btw, smlm kteorang jumpa ex-senior kteorang
dia bekas pengawas
aku lupa jawatan dia pe
so nak mendescribekan dia
dia bertudung labuh, bercermin mata n gelap plus pendek
wahahha...
dia masuk klas teori 6 jam utk motor smlm
dia ckp kemudian hari br dia buat utk keta plak
then alan said
x payah ambil lesen motor
terus lesen keta je
nek motor slalu kena kemalangan
hmm...
btol kata alan tu

i guess that is it.......

~Dizzup~

new layout

2010-02-20T17:39:00.001+08:00

i like it >.<

physic test

2010-02-19T23:02:00.002+08:00

i just got back from tuition just now
guess what
azizan/adzeezan got RM50 from sir khalid
bcoz he got the highest mark in test just now
i got 3 mark less than him
damn!!
then sir said that
if u guys(we) do the test
seriously next time(we play play while do the test)
he will give us
something nicer like that
cool is it?

i guess that the only want to share
wahahaha
btw, this sunday i will take license L class
i really in to it
bcoz i should already have license L right now
but i got the accident last 2 week
geeeezzz...
i really frustrated about that

~Dizzup~

updation(?)

2010-02-18T16:35:00.002+08:00

errr....
hello?

cuti ni bosan btol
aku x tau nak buat apa kat umah
tp kan
pejam celik pejam celik
cuti dah nak abis
hw masih lg bertimbun
school life is nice right?

badan aku dah bertambah berat
sbb tu la aku bw motor skang makin slow je
wahahaa
dah lama aku x exercise
nampaknya aku terpaksa la exercise balik
aku mlas tp apakan daya
dah makin berat de
mke aku dah bulat
nak kata comel
x bleh plak
sbb mke x comel langsung
-.-'

anyway, tahun ni tahun yg tough bg aku
salah satunya mestilah SPM kan
tp bkn tu je
bnyk kejadian yg x diingini berlaku
dan secara x langsungnya
ianya bermula selepas hari jadi aku
does it mean when i turn 17
i will have a lot of trouble?
it bcome a mystery n misery
yeah!!

my life become bored day by day
but yet i still have friends
that can make me happy like a kid
just for awhile
and then something horrible will happen
when i'm way too happy
does this world can't let me happy just for once?!
(ayat tu cam over la plak)

~Dizzup~

Life

2010-02-09T02:33:00.005+08:00

since i got that fucking shit accident
i didn't go to school for about 4 days
and i wonder if i will go to school today
i don't know what happening in my school
my class, my classmate n everything.
my hair hasn't cut yet
it's really mess up
wonder how i comb my hair....
*i nvr comb my hair since i was 13*
-.-'

i hate rumor
n yeah i hate who those always assume something
that is not even a fact that u can believe
pls, if don't know anything about something
and want to know the real thing
please ask the owner.
don't ask other ppl that doesn't know the truth,
it will ruin other ppl life.
to avoid something that unnecessary
PLEASE DO NOT BUTT OFF

i don't know why
ppl have to choose someone that are
good and interesting to chat with
not only for chat, but being a friend
why we can't be a freely friend
what i mean is
(example) :

A is not interesting person
B is anything that u can think of
C is much more interesting than A

here the story:
A is talking with B about something. then, C coming to chat with B. B accept the summon from C and chat with him. the story that A and B talk about is very long story that will take like 10 min to end but the story was talked about 2 min only. so got 8 min that not filled. as conclusion, people will find someone that are more good/nice/happy/anything than other people. why we can't accept that all people are equal? like syazwan said, "if we keep choosing friend now, in future we will not have any friend". i guess that's true though. can u tell, what is the feeling that a person that not interesting that are being left out without tell anything felt about. i can, but can u? i bet u can't. it's not happening to me only, it's happen to some ppl. i do watch them n kinda pity of them(include myself though).

yeah, u can laugh about it but the thing is, even u are much more smarter, brilliant, good looking, good at flirting or something like that but if u have a bad attitude, black heart n so on, u can't go any further in ur life.

i'm really tired of typing
today i was relaxing full time
i guess i have to do some exercise
for today's exam
add math, religion n history
i can't wait for it
>.<

i badly want to take chemistry, biology, malay language n english exam yesterday
but my illness won't let me go
it really crushed my heart
especially when i was looking forward for chemistry n biology

sry for my fucking damn broken english

~Dizzup~

complicated

2010-02-04T23:05:00.004+08:00

kecian aku punya baby
br je 2 bulan menjadi milik aku
br je mencecah 2000km odometer,
telah pun rosak
*body n handle plus T*

walau bagaimana pun
syukur terhadap Illahi
kerana memberikan aku masa lg
utk memijak di atas bumi ni
dan terima kasih diucapkan kpd brader
yg tlg aku time xcident tu
klu x
mmg time tu aku dah kena lanyak
ngan keta SUV
aku harap org yg langgar aku tu
akan dpat pembalasan
di akhirat kelak
walaupun kat dunia ni dia dpt lepaskan diri.

if she not talk about ppl so much
if she not like to play n obsess with gossip
if....
and if....
i don't know why this world
must have ppl like her

dahulu aku tertanya knp manusia cpt berubah
masa aku skolah rendah dlu
perangai diorang x macam tu
masa aku form 1 n form 2 dlu
perangai manusia x mcm tu
tp apabila usia makin meningkat
mereka akan berubah
klu berubah menjadi orang yg baik
x mengapa la juga
tp menjadi teruk
aku tahu
usia meningkat, belajar perkara baru, manusia pun berubah
bknnya berubah sedikit
tetapi terlalu ketara
boleh dilihat dgn mata kasar
tp mereka terlalu buta
untuk melihat
diri mereka, realiti dunia ini
ak tahu, semua perkara yg berlaku
ada hikmahnya
tetapi aku tidak pernah melihat
walaupun sedikit
hikmah disebalik semua ini
mungkin aku masih kabur
jiwa aku masih muda
mungkin aku masih ingin bersifat kebudakan
aku x tahu
tp aku tahu yg MAHA KUASA tahu
dan ini semua kehendak-NYA

i end this post by picture.

Pathetic day

2010-02-03T22:07:00.003+08:00

hey there
guess what?
today is my pathetic day
i was happily studying my chemistry
and yet i can't go to my chemistry class (tuition)
well
this is bcoz of
THAT FUCKING SHIT RETARD MORON DUMBASS PPL
DAMN I HATE THAT GUY
WTF HE RUN AWAY FROM ME?
FUCK FUCK FUCK

tp syukur terhadap illahi
kerana aku masih mampu
memijak di atas bumi ni
dan aku pon x la terok sangat
alhamdulillah, masih lg mampu berjalan
tp aku masih degil
ttp jugak nak jalan walaupun doktor
kata jgn banyak bergerak
hell no fucking shit i will follow that advice

bismillah....
semoga ALLAH memberikan hidayah dan petunjuk serta kpd aku, alif dan haikal cepat sembuh
dan juga semoga kawan2 aku dari klas 5 aman
tidak menimpa apa2 musibah atau dugaan
yg tidak kami ingini.
amin amin ya rabbalalamin.

~Dizzup~

lawat, melawat, melawati

2010-01-30T13:43:00.002+08:00

semalam aku gi skolah nek motor
sbb mak aku x sihat
then i ask my mom if i can go visit my friends
so she said ok bcoz my dad will look after her
aku pun pegi la skolah

sampai skolah abe cte
ekal kne accident mlm semalam(khamis)
then aku tanya la bdk2 len
nak x pegi melawat diorang lps solat jumaat
tanya punya tanya
semua stuju
then apis plak ckp x bleh sbb ada tuisyen
abe plan x nak tuisyen, tp apis paksa gak
then abe pun x jd pegi
so apis ajak pegi ari sabtu(ari ni)
aku plak x guarantee bleh pegi ke x
so as conclusion,
pepehal hari sabtu kompem kan dlu

so after school
lpk la kejap kat klas
chat2, play2
tunggu azan zohor berkumandang
then pegi surau
time abis solat jumaat
apis bgtau
cikgu dia ckp tuisyen cancel
pe lg, rancangan petang tu diteruskan

so planning nak jumpa
kat dewan skolah pkul 3.30
lps solat, aku gi umah izzud
sbb izzud gerak dgn aku skali
aku call abe sbnyk 8 kali
abe x angkat2
then abe call umah izzud
abe nak datang umah izzud
then gerak ngan kteorang skali
ble abe dah sampai
time tu dah ujan
so kteorang redah la
sampai skolah dalam pkul 3.15
kteorang 3 orang sampai dlu
then syafiq lak sampai
pkul 3.30, apis and alif affandi plak sampai
after that fazidin plak sampai
n lastly farid sampai
so skarang tinggal mus plak
call punya call
dia x siap lg,
time tu dah pkul 3.40
so kteorang decide nak gerak dlu
kteorang pegi umah ekal dlu
sbb dia yg plg dekat

sampai kat umah ekal
borak2 la
then mus call, dia x tau umah ekal
so aku ngan apis plus izzud
pegi la ambil dia kat petronas
tetiba plak farid dah blah dlu
amira n elyana sampai umah ekal
sblm aku pegi ambil mus.
so skarang ni yg pegi umah ekal
ada 11 orang .
so about a few hours(few?)
kteorang pon kluar nak pegi umah alip

so 8 orang nak gerak skali
farid dah blk umah, amira n elyana lepak kat umah ekal
fazidin plak ckp nak stay kat umah ekal
tetiba plak nak ikot skali
so skang ada 4 motor, 8 orang

aku bw izzud
abe bw syafiq
alip bw apis
mus bw fazidin

so kteorang gerak la pegi umah alip
dalam antara 8 orang
aku sorang yg ada lesen P
so diorang suh aku gerak dlu
tgk polis ada ke x
sampai kat seksyen 7
abg alip call aku
dia ckp klu dah sampai apartment
call la dlu
so kteorang gerak pegi umah apis dlu sblm ke umah alip
then kteorang pegi umah alip
sampai je kena tahan ngan pak guard
apis dah ckp ngan pak guard tu kteorang
nak melawat kawan kat situ
pak guard tu ntah camna x kasi kteorang masuk
aku call abg alip
then kasi apis ckp ngan abg alip
*aku tgh nak kunci motor*
then mak alip n his bro
sampai kat apartment
so mak alip ckp la ngan pak guard tu
kteorang pon masuk la
dalam kawasan apartment tu dgn motor skali
buat penat je kunci motor
siot tol

then, masuk la umah alip
sembang2 cam biasa
sementara mak alip nak masak
then a few minute later, apis ngan alip balik
then kteorang pon sambung la borak
dalam pkul 5.30
kteorang makan kat situ
ble dah pkul 6
mak izz call
so semua pun dah letih
kteorang pon gerak nak balik
ke enam enam orang balik ke skolah
turunkan syafiq ngan fazidin kat situ
aku plak antar izz balik umah
then aku gerak dgn abe balik
kteorang berpecah kat roundabout
aku ke highway, abe ke trajenang
aku sampai umah pkul 7
then that's the end of the day

Semoga Alif dan Haikal cepat sembuh.

*aku dah kne dgr nasihat dr 3 orang, 1 dr mak izz, 1 dr abg alip, 1 lg dr mak alip. maklum la, umah jauh, banyak la nasihat yg diorang nak kasi. aku pun dah jemu dah pun. hahahaha...*

even word can't explain this feeling

2010-01-28T22:52:00.001+08:00

i want to say that world is SO FUCKING UNFAIR
but yet G-O-D know what he doing

today

2010-01-24T07:46:00.003+08:00

today is my birthday
wonder how far i grow up
-.-'

last Thursday
i got math class at night
VERY SO FUCKING DAMN FUN
only 8 student in the class
it's hard to describe how fun it is
but it sure does fun
love it^^

~dizzup~

despite

2010-01-21T00:50:00.002+08:00

minggu ni sronok x gle
nak tau knp?
ntah la....

ari isnin mlm lps
aku telah menegur budak nerd tu
aku pun fikir
WTH i'm talking with that nerd
actually x de la sampai tahap tu kan
then ari selasa mlm plak
aku telah terkantoi with something
and time tu otak mmg berserabut la
apa lg....
cikgu ajar add math, aku dgr lagu
sumbat telinga dgn ear phone
GOOD JOB Syazani!!!
btw, lps abis klas add math tu
budak nerd tu plak tegur aku
and guess wat?
i know about him better now
i do noe what type of nerd is he
btw, i not hate that nerd
just i pretend to hate him
*from the bottom of my heart, i hate him*

enough of that
i want to tell about my school stuff
on tuesday
i figure it out that she got a crush
on him
n i'm not even a little supprise
bcoz i already noe that's gonna happen
i feel sry for her ex

td ada klas kimia
damn fucking fun
that sir
he teach bio n chemist
he noe how to make ppl laugh
plus the way he teach
really good
hahahaha....
cian aku kne pegi kedai beli barang td
klu x bleh balik ngan 3 member T_T

i think that's for now
tomorrow is a new day
(not tomorrow but today)

i candidate this song to someone :P
not her her her but her
who?

p/s:that kid look like a retard and same goes to me. ..zzZZ

this week

2010-01-16T16:15:00.003+08:00

this week is the same
nothing particularly happen at school
just i hate someone in prefect
i hate him so much.
damn i really hate him.
he think he damn so good?
b4 this he just a nice(not really) person,
now he starting to make ppl piss off
now everybody hate him.
u deserve to have it.
darn u shit.
actually got the other ppl like him in prefect
just he didn't act like this kid do.
fuck my English.

this week i got so many homework
especially BM
ty puan zaidah
weeee~
tp mmg best blajar bm ngan cikgu zaidah
love it^^

not very use to it

2010-01-11T18:26:00.002+08:00

woah!!
why i'm sitting here
at the Cyber Cafe
write the blog?
bcoz i'm a retard!!!

btw, today nothing special actually
just i my bike has changed the 'black oil' n the oil filter
wahahaha...

n 1 more thing
today was so boriiiinng...
stay at the hall for whole day
it's sux

that's it
c ya next time